Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize