I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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