she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
