areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
