Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
What happened to fro yo and sex?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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