Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
