I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
