so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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