ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
