How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
