You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
