Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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