Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize