Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So many bounce houses so little time
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
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