I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You dont lie about slip and slides
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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