Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
