I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
