at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
