Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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