Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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