i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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