I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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