I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
