i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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