Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
