Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
