hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
