We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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