I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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