ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
