yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
