i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
