oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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