thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
