how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
