Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
