i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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