Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I party with great urgency now.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize