Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
two words...techno handjob
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize