Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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