You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
