Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
