ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
