You made me cry and you don't even care
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
