dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
