It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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