i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
