I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
he just fucked me for my cheese.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
