You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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