we have pet lesbian snakes
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
