i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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