i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
