I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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