Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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