she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
