I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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