I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
