hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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