I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
