Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize